One of the Uncountable Shades of Farah

I have a confession to make, many of you guys were questioning me why I never gets into a relationship, I mean like having a boyfriend like most teen or adult used to.. honestly, I don't know the answer either..but I've been questioning it to myself for so long..and finally, I've got the answer.. yup! almost like revealing fifty shades of Farah..but not in erotic ways..HAHA.. okay.. kids, you better not searching for the word erotic because you wasn't supposed to and I KNOW I SHOULDN'T SAID IT EITHER! (i know few years from now, I'll be regretting for posting this post but I just don't care right now)

okay..so, the real reason why I didn't have any sort of boyfriend is because I am afraid of getting hurt, I am afraid of commitment, I am afraid of loving a wrong guy, I am afraid of problems that is surely going to arise from the relationship, I am afraid of guys that is flirty (when we had those girlfriend and boyfriend relationships), and one of the main reason includes that I often fall for characters in those english movies..I DON'T REALLY FALL FOR A REAL PEOPLE AND THAT IS MY PROBLEM! you know, I don't really feel lonely in terms of not having a boyfriend. sometimes, i do worried of getting too comfortable of being single because how am I going to get married when I am being too comfortable of living alone? but you know what? I am comfortable of not having a boyfriend right now because I can do almost everything by my own. I am capable of having fun without a boyfriend. in fact I don't really need one right now. I feel like I am too young to have one (eventhough I am going to be 21 on 20th of june 2016) and I couldn't be bothered by it..

there's just a lots of things that I wanted to achieved in my life and having a boyfriend is not really one of them. some of my friends said that, loving a boyfriend is different. but you know what? I don't see any advantages that I could get if I love some random guy (like crush or whatsoever). I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! I always thought to myself it is better for me to love a characters in the english novels rather than loving a random guy whom we called as boyfriend. the reason why I said it is because at least, I can never get hurt by those characters that doesn't even exist in this world.

so that's all from me at the moment. till I see you in the next entry.